Shabby Chic For Miss Minogue!

Some people consider me to be one of life's eternal optimists, Strangely I'm at a loss to know why, although I do admit to being one of the 18 people who voted for the Liberal democrats in the UK general election of 2015 having fallen for Nick Cleggs 'Coalition has been good' mantra and I also remain oddly convinced that it is only a matter of time before Kylie accepts my earnest, and if I may say so, rather generous offer of a couple of Fosters down my local before walking with me hand in hand round to the chippie for cod, chips and mushy peas,.... Yeah I know I should be so lucky...lucky lucky lucky...

 Be that as it may my own (fairly) positive attitude pales into insignificance when compared to some others. You know the type, they remain annoyingly upbeat in the face of overwhelming odds against them and genuinely expectant that 'something will turn up' to justify this stance, despite nothing ever having turned up in their entire lives before and no evidence that anything is likely to change in this position in the foreseeable future.They of course see the best in everyone and indeed everything, constantly reminding you that if you can't say something nice, then you shouldn't say anything at all. That you should strive to live every day as if it's your last and generally being a right royal pain in the backside. This Ned Flanders 'niceness' only serves to make them seem faintly false, patronising and inevitably susceptible to bouts of outrageous smugness.

So imagine my horror when one of the aforementioned annoyingly bobbish folk referred to me in general conversation as a little bit 'Shabby Chic'. Now style guru's will know that the term 'Shabby Chic' consists of one word too many and indeed the vast majority of items offered for sale described as such are found lacking in the 'chic' department roughly in the order of 100%.

Also consider this,'Shabby Chic' usually refers to an old worn out chest of drawers with scratch marks on the top of a dodgy greenish grey paint job with its look finished off by having some of its drawer pulls forlornly hanging out of worn out holes or worse completely missing! Furthermore these items can also be described, (more appropriately perhaps) as  'distressed' which of course usually means exactly the same thing, only with more scratches and knobs missing for about 20 quid more!

So there you have it, Nick Clegg has seen the light, annoyingly optimistic folk think I've seen better days and Kylie isn't a lady to be seen at all.................................yet.

Distressed? You got that right at least.

A Shabby Chic clock face next to a fine timepiece

Authors footnote;
Other Lagers and lovely lady mega star's are available.

Chirps Keep Up With The Foodie Blogs...... Blog

It would seem that I have been labouring under the flawed perception that to secure and nurture a bigger audience for my various scattered scribblings all I needed to do was document my thoughts and observations on 'life' as I know it, lay it bare for the great general public, warts and all in bite size portions in the form of a blog and they would flock to be a part of the greater Chirps community.

 Now this has in part become a reality with an encouragingly healthy readership and page views numbering several thousand prompting me to go about my business displaying a serene smugness that only Jacob Rees-Mogg could ever hope to match.

 So imagine if you will my angst when on listening to the radio the other day, a young lady was interviewed who apparently writes a 'foodie' blog and has her own you tube site where she demonstrates how to prepare various' dishes' and has collective page views/watches of her sites numbering some 2million odd!   What the Spag Bol is that all about?  

Some Delia wannabee with an 'A' level in home economics wiping the floor with chirps! but then I quickly began to wonder whether this demonstrates the obsession the populace seem to have with anything food related, from Masterchef to Come dine with me and the almost 'cult' followings for celebrity' chefs.

 Perhaps then I thought, the way to capture more readers is to incorporate food related stuff and features such as a 'recipe of the month' to 'wow' my audience and encourage their participation.

 The obvious problem with this approach is that I know next to nothing about food preparation, nor do I claim any skills on its presentation thus ensuring that a 'recipe of the month' feature would extend to roughly 3 months max before exhausting my total recall of culinary delights that I have prepared and not had to call the fire brigade out afterwards to extinguish the inferno thus created! 

I fear I am not alone in this dearth of knowledge surrounding all things gastronomic, frequent readers may remember a post from last year, The Outdoor Masterchef which adequately sums up the cooking abilities of the common man!


http://clivevincent00.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/the-outdoor-masterchef.html

Notwithstanding this, some might say obvious drawback, I'm going to give it a go, I mean how hard can it be? Just need to think up some tasty dishes, give them the requisite flourish of Frenchness to effectively demonstrate how removed they are from ordinary everyday dishes you may have heard of and Blanc's your uncle as they say in Provence!. .

So here goes, for my first recipe I give you something I've called 'Beanzez a la top of de tost'

mmmm it's making me salivate all ready!

First open a tin of Stewed Haricot beans in a rich Tomato sauce and place them in a saucepan on top of a gentle heat on your hob. allow them to come to the boil before reducing the heat and allowing them to simmer for a couple of minutes.

Whilst they are warming put two pieces of sliced bread or ' du pain' in the slots on an electric toaster and liberally butter when they 'pop out',
Next spoon the warm beans over the buttered 'Tost' apply a little black pepper and brown sauce to your own taste and serve with a fine glass of Adams ale and a winning smile. A Voila!

Now I'll admit that this recipe may at first sight seem a little similar to another rather well known one but I would point out the cunning addition of brown sauce which of course makes it totally unique.

So there you have it, my new food themed blog is up and running! can't wait for next months feature and second 'Recipe of the month' which I'm calling 'Frommages a la top of de tost'
.............................................What?

Top Chefs are excited by Vino's latest sensational recipe 'Beanzez a la top of de tost'

*Photo courtesy bbc