Well it has to be said that as life has gone along I have become more and more proficient in taking onboard other peoples radical ideas and trying to use them in an attempt to improve my everyday comfort. Everybody does that don't they? I hear you mutter under your breath. Well no, It seems to me that the vast majority just trundle on doing things the same way they've always done them as they grow comfortable with the structure this provides and never wonder if there is a better way, or how things could improve and life change for the better if done differently.
With this in mind I spent a very long time considering my current situation, most of Tuesday lunchtime in fact weighing up all the pros and cons and running various plans and theories over in my mind. I knew that whatever I decided it would have to be bold, radical, with cutting edge thinking designed to put me a little closer to easy street where all the movers, shakers, and politicians live. And then while watching Donald Trump on the news it came to me!
So, I have decided to make an executive order and impose a tariff on any labour that I expend on household related chores, payable by my wife on a regular basis. This would consist of some little luxury for me depending on the chore and the length of time and energy required to do it. I was thinking along the lines of a couple of cans of beer for doing the vacuuming, some popcorn for doing the washing up, that kind of thing.
Now tariffs can divide opinion of course, needless to say my wife, when briefed on my plan was somewhat less than overjoyed and provided quite cool feedback.......Actually it would more accurately be described as frosty, ......no no, arctic would be more appropriate I think.
Her response to my plan consisted of exactly two words and the second word was Off! Yes she's a class act is my wife.
Now obviously I realised that first responses to such a bold and innovative idea were likely to be less than 100% well received and that some further negotiation may be needed but it is fair to say that the gulf in distance between us has never been larger, far bigger I fear than the gulf of Mexico! or is that America now? I'm having trouble keeping up with DJT.
Anyway she has responded in the worst possible way and informed me that there will be some retaliatory measures including some tariffs of her own with a cutting of some food preparation and cleaning services and it seems the possible removal of some of my essential body parts, some of which having happily dangled in my Calvin Klein's for a considerable length of time!
It is fair to say that these are cutbacks that I was not expecting so in light of this fact I have decided to pause indefinitely my executive order and return to my usual routine until further notice!
So what have I learned from this? Well executive orders and tariffs are headline grabbing and easy to make, but often lead to unforseen consequences that involve retaliatory measures, including cutbacks, resulting in reduced quality (and in the most severe cases, quantity) of life and the male voice becoming much higher pitched and harder to understand!
So I'm off now to start the vacuuming! And no, I don't expect anything for it other than keeping the status quo and all my body appendages in their appropriate positions! 😁
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